I recently suffered a disappointment when I didn’t get something that I really wanted. It was a goal that I had been working toward for a while, and I thought it was going to be a part of my future, but things change, and sometimes doors shut for reasons that you don’t yet understand. I was in a slump for a couple days. I let one of my best friends hug me while I cried in the bathroom. I snapchatted my sister sad selfies. I went home just to hug my mom. And then I took a deep breath and told myself that I had to stop feeling bad for myself.
I already have so many amazing things in my life, and I have been granted some seriously amazing opportunities to make a difference. I think that for a brief period, I let myself feel a little bit of resentment towards the position that I currently have because I felt like it was holding me back and that I would be stuck doing the same thing forever. But then I got to thinking about how much I have gotten to do because of what I’m involved in. How many lives I’ve touched, how many incredible people I have gotten to meet. And then one of my friends let me know how much people appreciate everything that I have done and all of the hard work that I have put into the jobs that I do. When I decide to do something, I commit. I will never half-ass a project that means something to me. She recognized all of this in a paper, and it made my heart melt. I got to thinking once again that maybe what I wanted didn’t happen because it’s not what I was meant for. There are still a lot of other amazing opportunities for me to take advantage of. I’ve identified some of them and started talking to people about them. Maybe that’s the life I didn’t originally plan but is waiting for me.
I’m also about to embark on a journey to the other side of the world. Explore a new place, meet some new people. Get a new perspective on life. That’s a month of my life where I’m really hoping to find myself and develop as a person. I’m ready to embrace the life I’m meant for and stop thinking about the “What ifs…” Here’s to the life waiting for me. I’m sure it’s beautiful.